To share a story, memory, photo/video or anything else of Raj, please send an email to: rajshahanifamily@yahoo.com. All entries will be posted on this page within a few days.
May 18, 2011
Message from Shannon and Jonathan
How to decide which memory of Raj is the most special? More than a year later, we still can't pick just one. It is all the memories. So, this is more about who he was; what we remember him to be.
We think of him every day. The ability to become hugely successful but never let it get in the way of friendliness and warmth is a rare trait. How many people can honestly tell you they love you, even before really getting to know you? That's usually an animal thing, not a human thing. It's no surprise how well Raj connected with animals. He loved them, and they loved him. He is probably keeping company with our beloved departed cats and dogs.
To be loved and trusted is the fundamental basis of any lasting interpersonal relationship. We miss that about Raj! Obviously others do, too. A friend of his remembered that Raj was always there for him when life was terrible and also when it was great. That's very true. It's easy to think someone's your friend when the going is good, but who to talk to when your world is coming down and you most need love? It's no surprise how much he is missed.
Raj spoke our language, and it's an uncommon one. The language of limitless success. Whatever you are, turn up the volume. If you're great, be great. Really own it! And take a picture! In giving back to the world, include yourself in that. If you want something, have it. If you want to go somewhere, go. Be yourself. It's okay to be brilliant, accomplished, good-looking, AND loving. Those traits are not mutually exclusive. Humans tend to stifle and edit pieces of themselves to please others and appear societally acceptable, thus losing the essence that makes them special. There can be no good without the bad. In trying to delete that which we think is bad, we lose who we are. Raj knew who we were and loved us anyway, and we, him. He even considered our problems to be "high-quality".
We met Raj during the darkest time of our business and personal lives. It was a turning point, and he was a key component. He was the most non-judgmental, friendly, and positive person we knew. Much like it happens with cats and dogs, there was no transitional stage wherein it's determined whether you're friends or not. You just are. It's extremely refreshing to meet someone who instantly knows your value, without having to be convinced.
Sometimes the world can be a really cold and unfriendly place. Sometimes those that seem like the closest friends, or most reliable business associates, really aren't. Sometimes it's confusing to know what to do, who to turn to, or with whom it's always okay to be ourselves -- even when sad, feeling misunderstood, and dejected. Sometimes we really want to share our joy (over things that won't be understood by those who don't get it) and elation and hear the ecstatic response borne of a friendship based on real love and understanding -- and vice versa. And it's during those times that we miss Raj most of all.
February 7, 2011
Raj and Close Friend Dan Sharing Some Love
January 3, 2011
Message from Raji Krishnaswami
I must admit I have an interesting connection to Raj. In the electronic music scene from "back in the day", I was perhaps the original "Raj", and Raj Shahani was "TranceyRaj". I spent alot of time with him at this or that nightclub around the millennium and in the first half of the decade, and when I moved to Japan he probably became the pre-eminent "Raj". I used to chastise him for sullying our good name with his questionable taste in Trance music and after returning from overseas, I became the "not-TranceyRaj Raj", and I would have to often introduce myself as such to avoid confusion.
One of our few ventures out of that, he dragged me out to the old Meadowlands with him and 2 of his friends to watch a soccer exposition match. I was not a soccer fan yet so that may speak to his powers of persuasion. He sent some pictures from the match. As he was the photographer, he's not included in these photos. However, like a film director you might study from the past, you might learn more about him from his mind's eye than a picture OF him. So, I thought you should have these for yoursite, and feel free to post my note, as that's my best memory of that bloody TranceyRaj ;-)
December 20, 2010
Message from Susan
I met Raj at a fall 2007 Budokon workshop in NYC, and a friendship was born. He was so playful, encouraging, and quick to make easy conversation. As you know, he enjoyed helping and empowering his friends. One way he did so with me was through a friendly coaching barter; he would listen to me, and then discern ideas and actions he believed would provide me with the self-confidence and motivation to succeed.
The following story is one that resonated with me at the time, and it still resonates because, as you'll read, I have received several reminders of this conversation… reminders which I take as indications that he's somehow still with us: watching, guiding, loving. We were sitting in Central Park's Sheep Meadow, on a gorgeous early summer day in 2008, and he told me something like, "I finally understand your want to trade. It's like your yang to everything else that's yin in your life. But I want you to be more like a tiger when going after your goals. Right now, you're like a pretty little butterfly, flitting over here and flying over there, meandering over to check out every single thing that interests you. And while you're having fun doing it, and you have amazing goals, you're going nowhere because you have no true direction, and so you're also frustrated. I want you to set your goal, see your goal, and stalk it like a tiger until you can pounce on it."
Yep, true. While I've never quite mastered becoming a tiger, it was sage advice. I believe one of my last fb posts to him was something like: Raj, just so you know, I'm still a butterfly. This past August, during a very low point in an unhealthy relationship, I was sitting in Central Park feeling very distraught. One thread of thought I actually had was, "If I were talking with Raj, he would sooooo agree with me to get out of this situation, NOW." Right after that, a butterfly came, landed on my knee, and flew away again. A few weeks after that I was on the subway, and while the train was waiting to pull away from the station a butterfly flew into the car and landed in the windowsill directly behind me! I sat there admiring it, amazed, wondering what such a beautiful, fragile creature was doing in the subway. It then flew away and cleared the closing doors. I wished it well, hoping it made it safely to freedom. I like to think of these special moments as Raj reaching out from the other side, saying, "You're not alone, and everything is going to be okay. Trust me."
Raj meant so much to me, and I only knew him for such a short amount of time! He was an amazing person who affected such positive change in so many lives. I believe he easily surrounded himself with genuine people because of his sincerity and integrity. He was so free with his hugs, and so free in expressing his love, appreciation, and gratitude. That's contagious!
While I personally believe he is where he is meant to be, as there is a perfect order to everything, this belief doesn't lessen the pain of missing him, and having him right here to talk and laugh with. He was truly loved, and he is dearly missed. I'm am sorry for your loss, and if there is anything I can do to help, please reach out to let me know.
With love, and many blessings,
Susan
December 1, 2010
Message from Brian
Friends & Family of My Dear Brother Raj,
Thank you for this beautiful commemoration of Raj's work. I was and am proud to call Raj brother, as we were brothers in spirit.
I share this story with you all because I cannot think of any better way to remember him. Raj and I became involved in charity:water together through a mutual friend. charity:water suggests that on your birthday, you ask friends todonate to their cause as your birthday present. Raj and I were inspired by this idea, and I put up the post on my facebook during my birthday, April 17th, as it came first.The next morning I was astounded to see over $600 in donations! I quickly checked to see who had donated. Several family and friends had, but Raj had single-handedly donated $500. It was the greatest birthday present I ever received, and it has challenged, inspired, and given me hope ever since. I'll besure to post this story on Facebook and invite my friends to donate in his memory.
I know that Raj intentionally brought great people into his life, as he was intentional about everything he did, so please feel free to say hello. I'd be honored to get to know you.
Much Peace & Love, Brian Sowards
November 29, 2010
Message from Chris
I spotted him from across the gym. I found him wandering the the gym floor looking up at the marvelousness of architecture. I could tell he was new to the gym -- being one of the trainers on staff, I had never seen him before. I asked if I could help him find something...that's how it started -- our friendship. Raj became one of my clients with the grand goal of wanting to fight MMA. He had a spark in his eyes that only hinted at the raging fire that burned in his heart. He was passionate. Seemingly, about everything! He may not have been one of my mostgifted athletes, but he never quit. In our sessions he proved to have an insatiable appetite for training. On some of our particular grueling workout sessions he would end up flat on his back exhausted laughing -- LAUGHING! Raj was a beast (a term we use affectionately in the gym). First, he was my client. But he became my friend. I miss him dearly, but the passion and drive he instilled in me is with me forever.
Deepest love, respect, and affection, Chris
November 21, 2010
For Raj from his Family
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
2011
Raj's Me...
February (1)